Satirical News: Now We Know Who Rules Capcom and Activision Now!

So why did Crash, Megaman and Resident Evil crash?  So here's the greatest mysteries solved...


First stop, Capcom's new CEO is none other than Sigma.  After eight times he was blasted by Megaman off the scale, he now forcibly took over Capcom and declared that Megaman franchise be killed forever.  Sigma is glad to see Megaman abandoned in the streets.  How Sigma returned is a mystery but one thing is for sure, he rules Capcom now.  Now he seeks to put General Vega on the higher ups as well so the new Street Fighter games will suck eggs.


Albert Wesker was made as the right hand man of Sigma in charge of making Resident Evil games sucky for its latest releases.  He wants revenge on STARS for making him lose a lot.  With sucky Resident Evil games, people now sympathize with Umbrella.

Now for Activision, who rules it now?


It's confirmed that Uka Uka and Cortex are trying to get the sympathy of gamers everywhere by making Crash from Mr. Lovable Guy to Mr. Jerk in one easy step.  Activision used to offer good games like Marvel Ultimate Alliance but it did kill Crash when Uka Uka became CEO of Activision.  Uka Uka wants to make himself appear friendly to get your support.

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